Notes from a psychologist trying to make sense of the chaos.

We are all trying to make sense of destabilisation right now: in the world and in ourselves.

For some, the way out may be to hold tighter to expectations, hoping that following the rules will provide stability.

For others, big life change seems the answer, leading to a change of career or ending a significant relationship.

And then there are those caught in the tension between a pressure to return to life as normal and the reality that everything is different.

No longer in the forced holding place of lockdown but also not feeling free.

So if you find yourself in these places, here’s are some ideas to  guide you through:

1. If you are feeling a need to change your life, notice the difference between running away and running toward. Often when our body is in stress, we become focused on defining a threat and then running from it. But stress in our body.

So instead focus on managing your stress, and when you are feeling grounded, write a list of what is meaningful in your life. Then run toward that.

2. It is not time that heals, it is the processing of emotions and experiences. This may come from journaling or talking to supportive friends about what you are experiencing.

Give yourself permission to feel and give people the opportunity to validate those feelings.

3. Right now, you may be focused on trying to decide on the “’right choice”, based on external expectations or how it will impact other people.

Instead consider what the most meaningful choice is for you. Listen to your emotions, they are the most helpful system your body has of assessing choices and making sense of what is important.

4. Focus on the process rather than the goal. When we focus on future goals, we can lose sight of just how much of life is beyond our control.

Instead focus on the choices you are making in the present. Reform everyday habits to be grounded in your needs and who you want to be.

5. It may be tempting to leap off the career or relationship ladder you’ve been climbing and run to another one.

But instead, notice and challenge the expectations you have internalised about how you should live your life.

Lay your own foundation.

In times of uncertainty, when nothing is clear, you cannot expect a clear vision of the future to base your decisions in.

Instead, you must turn inward, and define what really matters to you.

Because the difference between uncertainty and hope, is purpose.

You are not alone. Reach out for support often and early.

Beyond Blue. Mental Health Support.

1300 22 4636.

Lifeline. Crisis Support.

13 11 14.

Rainbow Door. LGBTIQA+ Support.

1800 729 367.

Support Act. Arts worker support.

1800 959 500.